Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase “the good old days.”
I understand why we call them that. There are days from my past that I would give almost anything to step back into for just an hour.
The days when my boys were little. When the house was louder, messier, busier, and somehow fuller. The holidays when they could barely sleep because they were waiting for Santa. The school mornings, sporting events, family vacations, birthday parties, bedtime routines, and even the completely ordinary days that I didn’t realize at the time would someday become some of my favorite memories.
Sometimes I find myself pining for those days.
And if I’m not careful, nostalgia can start whispering something that I don't want to believe:
The best part already happened.
But lately, I’ve been challenging that thought.
Because what if my best days aren’t behind me?
What if some of the moments I will treasure most haven’t even happened yet?
Looking Forward Instead of Back
I've been trying something new when I catch myself missing the past.
Instead of only replaying old memories, I try to picture future ones.
I picture future holidays with my family gathered around the table.
I picture vacations we haven’t taken yet.
I picture my boys as adults, building lives of their own, and the new traditions we might create together.
Maybe someday there will be new people around our holiday table. Maybe there will be weddings, new homes, celebrations, family trips, Sunday dinners, or little people running around who create an entirely new kind of joy.
There are conversations we haven't had yet.
Places we haven't visited.
Pictures we haven't taken.
Inside jokes we haven't created.
Milestones we haven't celebrated.
And ordinary days that will someday become memories, too.
When I think about life that way, the future doesn’t feel like something that is taking my old life away from me.
It feels like there is still so much life waiting for me.
The Memories We Haven’t Made Yet
There’s something comforting about realizing that at one point, every one of our favorite memories was still in the future.
There was a time before my boys were born when I hadn't met them yet.
A time before our favorite family vacations.
Before Christmas mornings and birthday parties and funny stories that we still tell over and over again.
I didn't know those moments were coming.
And that means there are probably beautiful moments ahead of me right now that I can't see yet.
I love thinking about that.
Instead of wishing I could go backward, I can ask myself:
What memories are still waiting for us?
And maybe even more importantly:
What can I do to help create them?
Maybe it's planning the trip.
Inviting everyone over for dinner.
Starting a new holiday tradition.
Saying yes a little more often.
Putting the phone down.
Taking the picture.
Making the call.
Or simply being fully present when the people I love are right in front of me.
Don’t Miss Today While Missing Yesterday
There’s another piece of this that I’m working on, too.
Gratitude.
Because sometimes we can become so focused on what we miss that we overlook what we have.
My life looks different than it did when my boys were little. Of course it does. Life is supposed to change.
But different doesn't mean less.
There are things I can appreciate about this season that weren't possible in the earlier ones. There are new relationships to build with my children as adults. There is more freedom. There are new adventures. There are opportunities to rediscover parts of myself that may have gotten pushed aside during the busiest years of raising a family.
And there are still wonderfully ordinary moments happening right now.
A family dinner.
A text from one of my boys.
Laughing together.
A quiet morning.
A walk.
A conversation with my husband.
Everyone being home at the same time.
Those moments might not announce themselves as important.
Neither did many of the moments I miss now.
That's what I want to remember.
Someday, today might be one of the “good old days,” too.
I Can Miss It Without Wanting My Life Back
Maybe that's the balance I'm trying to find.
I don't have to stop missing those years.
I don't have to convince myself that I shouldn't feel sentimental when I see an old photograph or remember my boys at five or ten years old.
Those memories are precious because that season of my life mattered deeply.
I can miss it.
I can be grateful for it.
I can even wish I could visit it again sometimes.
But I don't have to live facing backward.
I want to carry those memories with me while still being excited about what comes next.
Because I don't want to spend the next ten years wishing for the previous ten — only to eventually look back and realize I missed how wonderful these years were, too.
So when nostalgia starts pulling me backward, I'm going to keep practicing this:
Remember the past with gratitude.
Appreciate what is right in front of me.
And look toward the future with anticipation.
There are still holidays to celebrate.
There are still adventures to take.
There are still reasons to laugh until my stomach hurts.
There are still family pictures that haven't been taken.
There are still beautiful ordinary days ahead.
There are still memories waiting to be made.
My best days aren't behind me.
Some of them are memories I will treasure forever.
Some of them are happening right now.
And some of them haven't even happened yet.
Please feel free to comment and share if you’ve been in a similar spot .
We are better together :)
Tanya