Over the last few weeks, I have been constantly thinking about how much weight I have gained over the last year and how on earth I let it happen. I am now officially, at the highest weight I have been since 2015.

There. I said it.

And if I’m being completely honest? I’ve been really hard on myself about it.

As someone who teaches fitness classes, talks about health, and genuinely values strength and vitality — it has felt frustrating. Embarrassing even. I know what to do. I understand nutrition. I understand movement. So how did I get here?

That was the question I kept asking myself.

But recently, instead of criticizing myself for the outcome, I did something different.

I sat down and reflected.

Not with judgment.
Not with shame.
But with curiosity.

What Actually Happened This Year?

When I took the emotion out of it and just looked at the facts, I could see so many life changes:

“Life Changes “
Less sleep.
Entering into being an “ Empty Nester”
More “grabbing what’s easy.”
Hormonal changes (hello midlife 🙃).
HUGE energy changes ( of course eating garbage hasn’t been helping lol )

When I wrote it all down, something softened in me.

Of course things changed.
Of course my body responded.
Of course I was tired.

That didn’t make me weak.
It made me human.

The Power of Empathy

For so long, I believed that being hard on myself would motivate me.

But it doesn’t.

It creates shame.
And shame rarely produces sustainable change.

Empathy, on the other hand, creates space.
And space creates clarity.

Instead of saying:
“What is wrong with you?”

I started asking:
“What do you need now?”

That question changed everything.

It’s Always Okay to Start Again

Here’s the truth I needed to remind myself of:

You can always start again.

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not disqualified because you “should know better.”

You simply gather information.

And this past year gave me information.

It showed me:

What happens when I don’t prioritize sleep.
What happens when I skip strength training.
What happens when I stop planning meals.
What happens when I emotionally eat instead of pausing.

That’s not failure.
That’s data.

And data is powerful.

Starting Again — With Wisdom

Starting again doesn’t mean going extreme.
It doesn’t mean punishing workouts.
It doesn’t mean starving or overcorrecting.

It means using what I now know to create a smarter plan.

For me, that looks like:

Prioritizing protein and whole foods.
Getting back to strength training consistently.
Walking daily.
Sleeping 7–8 hours. ( more often 6 hours for me is a “ Win” lol
Reducing alcohol and sugar.
Managing stress intentionally.
Speaking to myself like I would speak to a friend.
Reaching out to my closest friends when sometimes I might just need a hug

It also means remembering why I care.

Not to be smaller.
But to be stronger.
Clearer.
More energetic.
More joyful.
More present with my family.

If You’re In a “Start Again” Season…

Maybe your “start again” isn’t about weight.

Maybe it’s:

Your business.
Your marriage.
Your finances.
Your faith.
Your confidence.

Whatever it is, here’s your reminder:

You are allowed to pause.
You are allowed to reflect.
You are allowed to give yourself grace.
And you are absolutely allowed to begin again.

Today.
Not Monday.
Not January.
Not “when life slows down.”

Today.

Because starting again isn’t admitting defeat.

It’s choosing growth.

And I’m choosing growth — with empathy this time.

If you’re starting again too, I’m right there with you.

I would love to hear from any of you that might be “ Starting again” or thinking of “ Starting”

-Tanya 🤍